Your Weakness is Showing-Why You Should Be Proud of Your Weaknesses

Weakness really has a terrible rap.  Understandable.  Who wants to be weak?

I’m one of those people who is naturally afraid of weakness.  I’m not comfortable with my weakness being known.  I’ve gone to great lengths to hide things before.  

I would say I was trained to avoid my weaknesses at a young age.  Whether it was sports or academics, you concentrate on the things in which you excel.  You try to win.  Why would you acknowledge your weakness if you are trying to win?

Truthfully, weaknesses are natural.  They are important.  They are acceptable.  Dare I say, good?

Have you ever felt the need to hide something?  This is a terrible feeling.  It could be a simple surprise for a loved one, or maybe it’s a terrible secret you would be embarrassed to share.  

This reminds mine of a tremendously formational moment in my life.  When I was in college (hard to believe its was so long ago, but some stories you never forget), I mostly lived with my teammates.  The importance of teammates is a topic for another entry, but it’s important to note that in this specific situation, that my teammates were the last people I wanted to see.

It may not be like this today, but when football is not in season (by the way, praying for a season this year, or that it will be safe enough to have one), football players generally have a less strict schedule.  According to the NCAA, there is a limited amount of time that student-athletes are allowed to be participating in activities related to their sport.  In other words, time to be STUDENT-athletes.  

With a looser schedule there could be days at a time that I would not see my teammate/housemates.  The winter/spring time was a time to take a break from each other and concentrate on some other things.  For me, it was lacrosse season (I swear I went to class).  This generally meant that I was doing school work at night and getting enough sleep to get up for class in the mornings. 

Things were different for the people I lived with.  It was not rare to have the whole house to myself for many nights.  This was great, kitchen to myself, quiet time, anything I want on T.V.  

A typical routine for me was to come out of practice and grab some food before heading home (at which point it was dark already, daylight savings) to do some homework.  In fact, this was so typical, that one of my teammates, Larry was all too familiar with my schedule.  

Some bitter cold (thankfully not snowing) winter night in Long Island, New York, (Hempstead, to be exact) I was ready to eat and relax at home.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  So, I stopped somewhere (the name of the establishment is to be withheld in order to protect their business) for food (no cooking that night).  

Earlier, we had had a great lacrosse practice and I had nothing to complain about.  Oh, how things change.  I had a rather large meal (which was also normal) and began my strenuous five minute journey (drive with heated vehicle) home.  

Everything was going great until I pulled up to the house.  Suddenly, I had a terrible abdominal pain.  Unable to move, I sat and squirmed in the car for a few minutes.  I had never experienced anything like that. 

After about five minutes and thinking that the worst had passed I stepped out of the car and began what seemed like a seven mile trek accross the lawn to the front door.  About three and a half miles in, the abdominal pain miraculously went away, entirely!  I paused.  It felt great, but it was cold.  But then, I began to feel some warmth on the back of my legs.  It took a second to realize what had happened.  Gross.  Embarrassing.  But hey, I’m the only one here, I’ll just get inside and everything will be fine.  

I waddled up to the front door, reached for my keys, and with impeccable timing the door opens and it’s Larry standing proudly in the doorway.  He said, “Hey Bob!  It’s a little late for you, where ya been?”.  I replied “Uh, hey man, uh, I was at the store, picking up some supplies.”  He said, “Great, well, I was worried about you, glad you’re ok.”  At this point my heart is pounding.  He never actually asked me if I was ok (I clearly wasn’t) and it had to be odd that I wasn’t holding any “supplies”.  Ah Larry, he meant well.  I wiggled my way out of a lengthy conversation (not easy with Larry) and went on with my night.

Boy was I embarrassed in that moment.  It was a short time of rather insignificant weakness.  But in the moment, it was the worst thing possible.  I thought about what it would have been like for the whole house to wake up the next morning and makes jokes about my accident.  Honestly, it would have been pretty funny.

It took a while, but I eventually told everyone the story and we laughed.  That story has become one of the best memories from my time at college.  The point is that you never really know where something is going to lead as bad (or even good) as it may seem in the moment.  

That story is a satirical, extreme example of unexpected weakness, but the concept can be applied across many scenarios.

A weakness can be defined as either a condition or a quality or a feature.  This means that it can be a specific thing or a state that one is in.  

If there were no “weak” times or we had no “weak” features why would we collaborate with other humans?  Why would we ever need anyone else?  

Weaknesses are natural opportunities for us to lean on our fellow humans, not avoid them.  Here’s an interesting list, 7 Reasons Why Collaboration is Important.  See number three where Corey Moseley describes how we can learn from each other.  How great is that?  You mean we can improve an area of weakness by acknowledging and having someone assist?

It may be my personality, but when I got a group assignment in school, I was excited.  This was before web conferencing.  You actually had to get up, get out of bed, comb your hair, and meet your group for the assignment.  Seems strange, but it used to work that way.  I always thought it was better than having to do something all by myself (queue Eric Carmen song).  

I did notice at times the group member who was either “along for the ride” or didn’t even know there was one.  This was unfortunate for those of us who were committed.  But now I realize that it was even more unfortunate for them.  They missed out on collaboration.  

The best group projects were the ones where everyone participated.  My example of this actually takes me back to college.  Not too long after the previous experience that I mentioned.  Still slightly embarrassed by that, this will be the last time it is referenced.  

It had moved into spring now and things were warming up.  I was in a communications class and the semester was coming to a close.  Our final project involved a group going out and collecting some “man on the street” type of interviews.  Man, was I excited!  I get to collaborate, enjoy the warm(er) weather, and talk to people (a talent limited, extroverted Floridian’s dream), sign me up!  

The only bad thing about this assignment was that we had to get up at 7:00am on a Saturday.  My normal evening routine was playing out as usual (no, not going there, promise), and I was able to get to bed pretty early. However, this particular Friday night, late in the semester turned out to be quite a celebration.  And where did the impromptu celebration happen?  At our house…at 3:00am.  

Don’t ruin the best school project ever!  Larry and the boys were not so concerned about my well-being at this point.  It wasn’t even worth trying to chastise them at that point.  They wouldn’t remember.  I had mentioned to them earlier that I had to get up for a project (which looking back I realized that I was more upset because I was excited for the assignment, not just trying to get sleep for something I dreaded).  

What I find interesting now is that I didn’t realize at the time, that I was actually interested in collaborating with the other people in my class.  Looking back, I was ready to acknowledge my weaknesses and learn from the others in my group.  And we did learn from each other.  We doled out responsibilities and helped each member of the group be successful.  Our presentation the following week was a hit.

In this time of weakness in our country and world, I urge you to consider the situation of others.  It can be very hard to think this way during desperate and emotional times.  

Some people are hurting physically due to COVID-19.  Others are hurting emotionally due to compounding racist and oppressive actions.  Some, both.

This scale of mass weakness combined with modern technology puts us in a unique situation.  It is bad because it causes tension, fear, and anger.  But it is good because we are able to communicate more easily and we can learn from others who are being directly affected by what is going on.  

There is no excuse for omission.  Intentionally, educate yourself in order to make informed decisions.  

Understand “How to Recognize and Avoid Groupthink”.  Kendra Cherry makes some interesting points, specifically symptom number five.  And obviously, symptom number four is extraordinarily relevant.

In times like these, weaknesses can actually become strengths.  Stress causes action.  And human action can be amazingly powerful.  You can make change.  You can make an impact.  

Show your weakness.