You are Your Motivation: Three Steps to Change Your Search for Motivation to Impactful Action

Motivation is a funny thing.  It hides.  You would think something that great would be more accessible.  

Why can’t motivation be more like a confident person?  It should announce itself as awesome and present.  “Hey everyone, I’m motivation!  Use me as you wish to reach all your goals and make your dreams a reality!”

Sadly, this will never be the case.  Motivation is not the most popular kid in school.  It’s not a confident, borderline arrogant, person that would gladly share their ideas with you.  

I find that due to motivation’s unavailability, most of us either think it doesn’t exist or that it’s too hard to reach.  Driving this force is the fact that motivation is not a single thing.  I maintain that motivation is everything.  And I don’t mean the most important aspect of your life or the key to your success.  I mean everything in the world is a source of motivation; for someone, somewhere.  

The least motivating thing I encounter this week is the highest form of motivation for another person.  The common denominator in all motivational scenarios is the existence of a unique relationship between the source and subject of the motivation.  

What can be controlled most easily?  The subject.  Why?  Because it’s you.  

In theory, a source of motivation can be manipulated.  But I find this is largely inefficient.  It’s a complete waste of time in many cases.  

I have often heard the word insanity defined as the repeated application of the same thing expecting different results.  If you do the same thing with some minor adjustments, this seems not too far off from insanity.  

Don’t tweak the things that are not providing you motivation in order to find it.

If there are two parts to the puzzle (the source, and you, the subject), the obvious solution is to change yourself.  Simple enough.  You’re wrong.  So change.

This is the problem with motivational resources.  They often assume that you are faulted or incomplete.  I believe you lack nothing in the scenario at hand.  

I believe humans are wired to contribute to others’ wellbeing.  Some people are selfish, but it’s learned.  It’s often a survival technique more than an inherent desire to spite others.  

Read this article, 8 Companies Doing Good in the World Right Now, by Becky Zieber.  Some of the names on this list are huge successful companies. 

Also, Just Capital has a list of the top 100 companies doing well by doing good.  This reminds me of my conversation with Jon Sahn on Episode 8 of Speaking of Impact.  

I’m not sure how we have the 2021 list already but you can also look at 2020 and years past.  If you run or are starting a business, it’s important to consider your mission and how it is executed.  Speaking of that, if you are looking for How to Define and Implement a Social Mission for Your Business, this is a great article.  Note the section about what “not” to do.  

The lesson is that the companies that are best at making people’s lives better, are the biggest.  They are the most popular, and by many metrics, the most successful.

Check out the stories of Chik-fil-A and Hobby Lobby.  These organizations are well known for treating their customers and employees very well.  When a company gets that large, there are bound to be undesirable situations.  I am sure not every customer and employee has been satisfied with their experience.  However, the overwhelming majority have.  

There is no doubt that you can lead an enjoyable life and improve that of others.  This means that your motivation does not have to be selfish.  It shouldn’t be found in the demise of others.  

Unfortunately, desperation is an extreme form of motivation.  It will get you to act, but often irrationally.  

When was the last time your were late for something?  How did it feel?  Were you nervous?  Did you think of a potential punishment?

I am one of the most nervous late people.  I do not do well when I am going to be behind schedule.  It makes me feel anxious, worried, inadequate, and as if I am letting people down.  

As mentioned above, selfish survival techniques are often learned.  I am going to blame my “promptness anxiety” on my upbringing.  Before I begin to reminisce with you, I must say that being on time to one’s commitments is a great habit.  It shows that you believe the event to be important, you respect other people’s time, and you are willing to take additional amounts of your own time to maximize the time allotted for said event.  A good rule of thumb is to be on time.  However, when circumstances don’t allow you to be on time, don’t be selfish.

My parents taught me many great lessons when I was young.  Time management was definitely one of them.  It was important that I respected the things that I committed to by being there when I was supposed to be.

I often call my middle school years the best time of life.  One of the only bad parts for me was relying on my parents to take me everywhere.  Luckily, I was an only child.  I had two chauffeurs at the ready at all times!  Actually, my parents were very hard working and we often found ourselves negotiating schedules to make sure I could be taken to places.  Sometimes I relied on my friends’ parents to get my places as well (especially during the week).  

One Saturday morning (when my mom was typically available), I had an extracurricular activity.  Honestly, I don’t even remember what it was.  But, this will actually assist in making my point.  

We were running a little behind (probably because I was late getting up).  I remember looking at the clock on the dashboard of my mom’s car.  Yes, cars had digital clocks by then.  We were counting down the minutes until nine o’clock when I had to be there.  It seems like we were hitting every traffic light.  

We didn’t quite know where we were going, which didn’t help our anxiety.  I could tell my mom was getting worked up.  Every time we had to slow down or stop it got a little worse.  

You know how you feel that last bit of adrenaline when you finally see your destination on a long road trip or the finish line of a race?  After a half hour of stopping and starting, Mom and I saw the big building we were looking for on the far left corner of the upcoming intersection.  All we had to do was get to the light and make our turn.  But of course, as we anticipated, the light turned yellow on our approach.  Then, the adrenaline kicked in, mom slammed on the accelerator, and we zipped into the turn lane and, flash!  The light turned red.  

What a disappointment.  It felt as if we were going to avoid the last light of the trip, but we would have to settle for another minute long wait.  It was 8:59.  I was going to be late no matter how fast I jumped out of the car when mom pulled up to the building.  I had come to the conclusion that you can’t always be on time and that everything would be okay.  But not Mom…

All of a sudden, I felt the hairs on my neck stand up and and we burst through the intersection.   I swear mom swerved and the car lifted onto the two right side wheels.  We beat the oncoming traffic, made another high speed maneuver into the parking lot, and sped up to the entrance to the big building.  Phew!  We were safe.  But it was nine o’clock.  I was going to be late anyway. 

I ran inside with my bag while mom parked the car.  Once I got inside I looked around and saw a sign pointing to another door.  I hustled to the other door swung it open only to find a line of 15 kids and their not-so-late parents.  

It took a minute to catch my breath.  I turned around to see the second least likely thing for me to experience other than my mom running a red light…my mom running.  

What a day it was.  I’m sure I got into whatever event it was and did just fine.  I’ll never be able to remember what exactly it was.  But, I’ll never forget the last five minutes of the journey.  

There may be some genetics involved, but I know that my lesson in promptness is mostly learned.  I also believe that my propensity to rush when running behind is also a result of my parents’ actions.  I should also note, before I get in trouble, that my Mom also taught me to be a very safe and respectful driver.  I can’t remember any other instances of her showing recklessness on the road.  This is probably why the aforementioned event is so memorable.  I related it to her desire to give me the best chance to be successful in anything that I did.   Thanks, Mom.

In the end, we both learned that not everyone was as concerned about promptness as we were and that safety should most often be of paramount importance.  

It should be acknowledged that my mom put her own desires ahead of other drivers that day.  But, it was out of character.  It wasn’t natural.  I’m sure if you asked her about it she would say how uncomfortable it was.  She was and still is more inclined to consider the needs of others.  And in a strange way, she was being selfless in that moment because she was looking out for me.  

It is possible to motivate oneself without being selfish.  It is done by looking within.   

You need not search for motivation.  It is something to be examined.  You may not live your natural motivation every day, but you have it inside of you.  

I have three steps to help you get it out.

First, ask yourself these three questions:

What are the things that you are uniquely qualified to do?  

What are the unique skills that you have?  

What actions make you feel most productive?

Second, ask yourself these two questions:

Who can benefit from the answers to questions 1-3?

Where are they?

Finally, ask yourself one last question:

How can I bring the answers from questions 1-3 to the answers from questions 4 and 5?

As with anything we identify in the world of impact, size and space mean nothing.  With the answers to the questions in Step 1, nothing is too vast.  Also, nothing is too small either.  Your answer to the questions in Step 2 could be “my family” and “at home”.  I am sure Dr. Travis Parry would appreciate making an impact at home after our conversation from Episode 16 of Speaking of Impact.  Also, the question from Step 3 is not necessarily related to travel or transporting something.  It may be referencing the delivery method of concept, act of kindness, or service.  

What you do well is what someone needs.  You are your motivation.

Look within.  Share without.