Bob DePasquale

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6 Tips to be Ordinarily Extraordinary

Speaking of Impact Episode 43 with Simone Knego was a great episode.   She wrote a book called “The Extraordinary Unordinary You”.  In our conversation she provoked some thoughts about how unique everyone is.  We all have our special gifts and talents.  Simone believes that our differences should be celebrated.  I would agree.  In the impactmaking space we must acknowledge our differences and fill in each others gaps.  Otherwise, unordinary would be undesirable.     

 

I typically spend about three hours working through the content of each show (this does not included bookings and editing, thank God for an editor).  I research the guest.  I do a pre-interview.  I research more if we’ve decided to record.   We do the recording.  I write the intro and outro.  Then, there is a period of time before the episode is set to come out.  During this time, I usually do not have much to do with it.  In the week before release, I record the intro and outro.  I learned that I need them to be more relevant to the times and when recording in advance it often wasn’t.  I don’t listen to the finish product until the Thursday that a show comes out.  But, I do subscribe (Do you?  How about a review?).  It automatically downloads to my phone and I listen (sped up, of course).  I take notes as I listen.  Then, I write a Twitter thread to recap what we learned.  You don’t have to be on Twitter to read it, but I would encourage you to consider joining the platform.  I believe it’s the best place to find a community of likeminded people and learn from each other.  It can get a bad rap because of politics, sports, money (my industry, I know), and “internet muscles”.  





It’s a great feeling to communicate with people who have answers to your questions at just about anytime you want.  It also doesn’t matter where they are.  You can instantly expand your network on Twitter.  You’ll find millions of extraordinary people.  

The time that I put into each show allows me to internalize some of its lessons (maybe some of indelible…see the E-Impact Blog Entry from December 1, 2020).  However, I will not remember them all.  Some need to be documented.  This is why the Twitter threads are great.  I also really appreciate the conversations that I’ve had with you about the guests and what they have to say.  The system isn’t full proof, but I’ve forgotten a lot less than I would have without the interaction, time spent, and various forms of recording what we’ve learned.  





Even with all of the effort that goes into an episode of the show, I still have to move on pretty quickly every week.  There have been over fifty episodes recorded at this point and it’s not slowing down.  This is what makes Simone’s episode unique.  It has made its way to the top of my mind again.  I have determined it’s because it tells the story of the show in general.  Other episodes have had more specific lessons about a particular field, way of thinking, or strategy for impact.  This one simply highlighted our uniqueness.  It is that uniqueness that can bring conflict and as impactmakers we accept the uniqueness, but not the conflict.  We are not trying to eliminate our differences.  We are trying to use them to make everyone better.  





In my book, “Personal Finance in a Public World” (it’s not officially titled this, but we are getting closer), I spend some words on describing habits.  Its purpose is to help you develop healthy money habits in our modern social world.  I mentioned James Clear’s “Atomic Habits” in E-Impact 38.  I go into some more detail in the book.  So, this is a bit of a preview (or spoiler!?).  The human mind is amazingly effective at developing consistency.  





Impactmakers are not any more special or blessed than the rest of society.  We have one simple thing that defines us.  It’s a calling to do “good”.  That’s it.  Why, then, is it so hard?  It’s because of our habits.  The world tells us to conform.  We see it every day; and faster and more frequently than ever now.  The biggest, most successful companies don’t sell products and services that most cannot afford.   They sell things that the vast majority of people can use and buy.  I also talk about Apple in my book and they are a great example.  Statista says that 113 million people in the United States have an iPhone (47% of all smartphones).  The iPhone is certainly a modern device, but I wouldn’t call it extraordinary.  In fact, it’s pretty ordinary.  If you have one, you’re so small of a percentage that my phone (not an iPhone) can’t display the number.  Another example is Airbnb.  There are 2.9 million hosts and 150 million users as of 2018 (The pandemic has effected this.).





The iPhone is not only for wealthy people to communicate and Airbnb is not for luxury travel.  The people who do business with Apple and Airbnb are not necessarily ordinary themselves but they are doing ordinary things in today’s world.  





I would encourage you to take some time and think of all the ordinary things that you do.  Many of them are essential and I would not begin to describe how to avoid them.  However, there are certain things that we do solely because everyone else is doing them.  These are the things that we, as impactmakers, have to battle against.  





Most people will drive by a homeless person.  Most will pick up money they find and keep it.  Most will pull into the first available parking spot if they can out maneuver another driver.   A 15% tip is ordinary.  Try giving an extraordinary one occasionally.  These are just some small things that anyone can identify.  But, they add up.  Impact is about consistency, not isolated events.





If we can acknowledge some of the ordinary things that we do, we can make some adjustments.  The first step to taking action for change is determining what needs to be different.  This should be a natural first step considering you’ve felt the calling to do good.  After determining what needs to change you start making small adjustments and create great habit loops (discussed in “Atomic Habits” and by other habit researchers like Charles Duhigg).





The overwhelming evidence shows that habits are formed by consistency and not big changes.  I have had the pleasure of speaking with Mark Glicini on a few occasions now.  He was on #founderjam (our weekly entrepreneur’s live broadcast, streaming at 3pm across platforms) and he will soon be on Speaking of Impact.   He uses a quote from Dr. Cristina Versari.  “Consistency plus continuity equals results.”  This is powerful because it adds an extra detail to consistency. 





I have a few daily habits that I have developed over the years for health and wellness.  I drink a minimum of a gallon of water.  I stretch all my muscles.  I execute some balancing exercises (I’d be glad to share this routine via DM (@bdepa on Twitter or IG).   No single day of these or even full year of daily execution would make my life that much better.  Decades of doing them has.  It took a while to develop the habits.  There were many days that I would forget or lose motivation.  But now, I feel like something is wrong if I don’t do them and it’s second nature.  I usually catch myself in the act while I’m thinking about something else.  





My wellness habits have also morphed over time.  I have made tweaks to improve and customize them more specifically for my needs.  For example, my current digestive situation has required me to be more intentional about exactly when I drink my water and I have also had to cut back a bit.  I’ve also added and subtracted stretches and exercises over the years.  Despite these small adjustments, the continuity has been the key to the effectiveness of the habits.  I don’t just stretch anything everyday.  I have specific positions that ensure I am covering all of my muscles.  





We must apply continuity to our consistent impact efforts to make lasting change and those extraordinary things ordinary.   You will become ordinarily extraordinary if you habitually avoid what everyone else is doing.  





Here’s some ideas:





  1. Keep water or change in your car to pass out to people on the street in need (I stole this from my wife. Remember about stealing great ideas from E-Impact 44?).





  1. Create a spontaneous giving fund that fits within your budget. You’ll be able to support people financially when an unexpected time arises.





  1. Search online for local organizations that need volunteer assistance. Provide said assistance on a reoccurring schedule.





  1. Go on a Habitat for Humanity Global Village Trip. These have a tendency to develop into habits (See the pun there?. Trust me.





  1. Ask your place of worship and faith community for opportunities to serve.





  1. Start a social media account dedicated to positive impact. Develop a posting schedule.





This list is just a small start.  All of those things could develop into something larger depending on your passion for the cause.  My only warning is that you don’t let your passion take you away from what matters most; the consistency and continuity.   Don’t try to grow too fast or lose site of the cause itself.  The time will bring the impact.  





One of my favorite things to do is to celebrate the wins that our community has.  I think it is the most motivating and effective way to grow the movement.  Whatever great habits that you develop, don’t be afraid to share them.  As we always say, kindness is contagious!  We naturally want to hear what each other is doing to improve our world and I believe that sharing the message will help nudge others along.  It will help them find their calling and because we are all different, their calling will be too.  Just know that your efforts on one project could spark a completely different one that changes the world for one in a different but immeasurably meaningful way.





You are ordinarily extraordinary.